Things you didn’t know.

How to sharpen a knife with a whetstone

Guns for show. Knives for a pro.

A sharp knife is your best friend in the kitchen. Invest in a quality blade. It will serve you gallantly for life. Next, invest in a whetstone, preferably of Japanese make - any culture that has spent millennia perfecting the art of honing swords for Samurai knows their business.

Whetstones are measured in ‘Grit’ - the lower the number, the coarser the grain and the more of the knife’s blade it will grind away. Start the sharpening process on low-grade (1000) grit to put the edge on the blade, then use the high-grade (3000-10000) stone to polish the edge to a scalpel-like sharpness. 

For the average household punter looking to sharpen your quiver of knives, you can find online a double-sided combination stone with both 1000 grit and a 3000 grit stone. For the professional and general knife nutter (e.g., most chefs and more hardcore mafia types), I suggest a set of 3 individual 1000, 3000 and 8000-10000 grit stones.  These will quite literally get your shiv sharp enough to shave with.

Here’s how you do it.

1. Fully submerge your stone in water for at least 60 minutes. The stone is porous; as such, you will see tiny bubbles emitting from it as it absorbs moisture. The water will act as a lubricant while you sharpen to ensure you don’t damage the blade and the stone from excessive friction. This is crucial.

2. Remove the stone from the water and place it on a sturdy bench top on a wet tea towel to stop sliding around while you get freaky with the knife. Many stones are sold with a rubber stand to help hold them in place, another sound investment.

3. Next, choose your weapon.

4. Starting on the low-grade stone, place the blade on the stone with the tip of the knife facing away from you. Hold the blade's handle firmly in one hand, and with two fingers of your other hand, lightly apply pressure to the tip of the knife. You will run the cutting edge length back and forth along the stone with the blade's edge at about a 15-degree angle off the stone's surface.

5. If you can, count the number of times you go back and forth and repeat evenly on each side for about 10 minutes. This will put the edge back on your tired, limp and frustratingly pathetic knife. During this process, you will see a slurry of liquid, mixed colours of both the stone and the metal from your knife – this is normal, and by now, you should be thinking of how soon you will be able to brunoise tomatoes like Escoffier.

6. Wipe your blade clean and repeat the process on the higher-grade stone, keeping the edge at no more than 15 degrees. Again, count an even number of strokes per side for about 10 minutes. This stage will barely feel like the stone is having any effect on the blade, but to compare how this ‘polishing’ stage works, think of how a barber buffs his cutthroat razor on a leather ‘strop’. Now you’ll start having those Sweeny Todd-esque thoughts that most chefs have numerous times a day.

7. Check the edge of your knife by running your finger across the edge. Be careful; it should be sharper than a motherfucker if you have done it correctly, and this stage can easily see your sorry ass off to A&E.

8. Wipe your blade clean and wash the stones to remove loose grit and grime. Be sure to allow your stones to dry out completely. Head to the supermarket and purchase kilograms of tomatoes or other soft fruit and spend the rest of your afternoon with a wicked grin as you effortlessly cut through their flesh like a hot knife through butter.